plz talk dirty to me
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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