Joe is yelling at the trees again.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
