So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
