the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
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