I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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