weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
