i jhust puked up my retainher.
if only i could text you this smell
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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