After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
