the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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