broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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