I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
