how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Randomize
