If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
