8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
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