she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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