you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
