if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I wish I only lived at night.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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