I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
