well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
