Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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