I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
