Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
