So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
