dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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