ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
