my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
