I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I just found a bag of teeth...
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
