Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
