a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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