Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
My cat gives me a boner
im holly from the hills drunk
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
