So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
