thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
