lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
