You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
