you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
