Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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