I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
me + whiskey = a bad person
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
