Where is the hickey?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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