it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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