Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
