well you can't waste a boner
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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