She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
