so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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