I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
