Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
