Kiss
Puke
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
