when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
third nipple confirmed
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
