tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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