we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
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