im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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